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Day 9 - fic: Cold Days PG13

Title: Cold Days
Author: cryssiemarsters 
Fandom
: Torchwood
Disclaimer: I own nothing, RTD and BBC are the lucky ones.
Pairing: Jack/Gwen, Jack/Ianto, Gwen/Rhys
Characters: Jack Harkness, Gwen Cooper
Rating: PG13
Spoilers: none
Prompt: Valentine's Day "Love Hurts" Challenge
Summary: Jack and Gwen had something, and now all he has is the memory
beta: chloe_2450 


The cold wind was ruffling his hair, but he didn't care. His long coat fluttering behind him, he was staring at the gravestone covered with freshly fallen snow. Crouching down, his thumb wiped off some snow, revealing the engraving in the gray stone. His fingers lingering on the calligraphic letters, Jack bit his lip. He still couldn't get used to the fact that she was gone; he still couldn't let her go.

Gwen Cooper, beloved daughter and friend - the cold stone claimed the painful reality. Jack gulped.

Placing a single red rose onto the snowy stone, he whispered hoarsely, "Happy Valentine's day!"

Remembering that certain day of 14th February when they had shared their first kiss, a bittersweet smile crept into the corner of his mouth. Despite her having Rhys and himself having Ianto, they couldn't have hidden their attraction toward each other anymore. She had known him better than anyone else in the team, even better than Ianto, and he had known her more than she thought. They both had felt that their kiss was forbidden, yet they couldn't have resisted temptation anymore. Though they had spent the evening with their significant other, both of them had cherished the memory of the kiss in their heart and mind for that night. Valentine's Day had been theirs from that night onwards.

Since that moment they had been seeing each other even though they had known it was wrong. Yet their thirst for each other had been so unquenchable that neither of them could have lived in further denial.

Every time he saw Rhys kissing her passionately, holding her in his arms, smiling at her lovingly, Jack had felt the pangs in his heart; jealousy taking over him. As a matter of fact he had wanted Gwen for himself only, but he had loved Ianto too, while she had had Rhys and her normal life. Jack Harkness had had no right to ruin these relationships. He hated the fact that he was cheating on Ianto, but couldn't have imagined his days without Gwen's touch anymore.

Then one passionate night she had made the decision he couldn't himself.

<flashback>

"We can't go on like this." Gwen said quietly, her head resting on his shoulder.

Facing her, his hand squeezing her bare arm, he looked at her questioningly.

"You know what I mean," she bit her lip, her dark eyes searching his.

"I guess I do, but I wish I didn't," he whispered sadly.

"This thing.." she gulped, "...is not fair on either Ianto or Rhys."

"It isn't," he sighed, "However it feels so right," he touched her soft lips.

"I know," she sighed. "But we should stop it. Going on like this we hurt the ones we love."

His eyes staring into hers, he nodded reluctantly. Squeezing her cheek, he leant in and kissed her tenderly.

"This is for good-bye," he whispered in the kiss, pulling her into a tight embrace.

Kissing him back, her fingers slid into his hair - once more before their world changed the morning after.

<end of flashback>

Then that fateful day had come. Everytime Jack thought of it, his heart shattered into hundreds of pieces. The beautiful Welsh woman, the diamond and heart of his team lying in a huge pool of blood on the ground, it was an image which recurred in his nightmares.

He should have protected her. Every night he just stared at the ceiling, blaming himself for not being there on the field with her that day. He should have been the one to die and not her. He would never be able to forgive himself for that.

Caressing the engraving in the stone, a tear rolled down on his cheek.

"I'm so sorry..." Jack muttered, swallowing the tears.

Her absence hurt so much. He would never get used to that pain. But what hurt more was that there was something he should have let her know, but there was no chance to do that anymore. He loved her, but he could never tell her. And now she will never know.

To the world, Valentine's Day was celebration of love and romance, but to Jack it meant more - it was their day forever.

Taking a last glance at the gravestone, he whispered the three words he hadn't had the chance to say earlier.

The only reply he received was the wind-blow..